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As I said before, guys reserve their deepest level of respect and attraction for those women who are independent and confident in their own life, with or without a man.

Remember, when a guy is attracted solely by looks, he has then formed in his mind a singular challenge.

I know, I know — one of my most popular posts talks about the troubling Chinese mother-in-law relationship. John actually expressed this with a Chinese saying: shàng dé liao tīngtáng, xià dé liao chúfáng (上得了厅堂,下得了厨房), or someone who can “meet guests (i.e. When I returned to China for the second time in 2001 (after a year of teaching English from 1999 to 2000), I actually went alone — something that led my husband to privately dub me a “hero” (which is kind of funny to me! And while I know it sure doesn’t rank highest on the courage-meter, it’s definitely a sweet thing to appreciate. What a man wants is to know that he is being fitted into your weekly planner, rather than you giving up everything and going to set up camp in his!I can’t stress this enough, in men’s minds it is unattractive if after only a brief time with him you give up the rest of your life (friends, family, hobbies) and replace them with him.But take note – this is absolutely NOT the same as the old idea of “playing hard-to-get”.Playing hard to get is only an illusion of independence, which will quickly vanish after the ‘chase’ is over.

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